Not to Cook

To be honest, I miss being a cook. Most, if not all the jobs I have had before and after it, have been and are to me, well, just jobs. They were/are a means to an end, something I have to do to get the things I want. But being a cook, for me you see, has never been just a means to an end or a job that I do because I’m incapable of doing any other job. No.
Being a cook to me is a chosen package of a lifestyle that involves the actual job of cooking, plus all added "perks and bonuses": Let's see...late nights, late starts to a day, leaving for work while the rest of humanity comes home from it , planning weekday vacations instead of weekend ones, burn marks, missing fingertips, sore eyes (from all the steam and flame and late nights), changing friends (your fellow cooks become your friends because you ultimately spend more time with them than your own family), or working on holidays when the rest of mankind celebrates them.
Chefs are a different breed of people. The kitchen is a different kind of office. It's gritty, its harsh, it's hot, humid, and loud. The language between "coworkers" during service is abrupt, precise, and unfussy. There is no time for pleasantries between 5:30-11pm! To succeed takes a certain kind of bravery and spunk, tolerance of pain and verbal abuse (verbal abuse that is either in-your-face or subtle, but either way, one must learn to be thick skinned and keep focused). It’s a workplace where, for a few hours, your sous chef rides you like he hates to make you feel as small as an ant, yet at the end of the night you’re best of friends. You've got to be eager and really like what you do. Cliche as it may sound, passion is important. Why? well if you are going to devote your entire way of life to a "job", you might as well at least like it or better yet be passionate about it.
Then there is the food. The center of THIS universe. You've got to like food. You have got to embrace the common and especially the uncommon. You've got to know your material to the core. You can't fake a resume, because no matter how fancy your resume sounds, the great leveler is ultimately what you put on a plate. You can't hide, or decorate your skills with flowery words, you have got to cook good food to keep the job!

But after all the verbal abuse, blood, sweat and tears, the gratification of a night well done, the knowledge that you have done your best to make something tasty, and satisfying, that feeling can't be beat!

So why am I not cooking now. Don't worry, I will again, eventually. See, I have also seen good cooks and chefs fall and fail. Most do because at some point, they suddenly forgot why they do it. Things happen, money starts to talk, and suddenly the focus is gone. I know... I've been there. I've seen the other side of being a cook where you might find yourself cooking next to people you would never ever want to meet on the street in the middle of the night. Suddenly you're working with people who are cooking not for the love of it so they would rather be numbed during the shift with some form of substance to get through the nights. I've worked for chef bosses who would just show up at 11am, push some papers in their office and leave at 5pm, in other words, bosses with no drive or ambition to make a better menu or be innovative...Suddenly, you yourself are disheartened and bored by the mundane.
Thankfully, I am not disheartened. I am simply cautious and want to commit to something that I will love. If I devote time, energy and life to it, it has got to be worth it. So, until I find that, you'll find me on the 9-5 wagon while practicing the "craft" just in the privacy of my own kitchen. And maybe come summer, there will be a few good food related gigs to come my way.